Monday, January 27, 2014

I'm Okay with Public School... As Long as You're Doing it For the Right Reasons

   I homeschool my kids, and I have from the beginning. On paper, I've homeschooled since 1996, but in reality, teaching begins at birth (or as soon as you acquire your child) and so I've been homeschooling since October of 1991. I really don't care if you homeschool your kids, or put them in private schools, or public school, or send them off to Hogwarts. Really. As long as you don't ask me to homeschool your kid, for free (yes, I've had strangers call me and ask if I would do this "Well, yes, for free. I figured since you were home all day, anyway..."), I do not care what path you choose to educate your child.
   However, rarely a week goes by when I'm out and about with my kids, that someone doesn't say to my child, "You don't look very sick! Why aren't you in school?" and they answer "I am in school. I'm homeschooled." Then I get one of several responses:

  • I'm okay with homeschooling, but I worry about their socialization. (I'm worried, too, about yours. The school you went to obviously produced a person that approaches perfect strangers and demands to know about their health, and explain why they are occupying public space with you.) 
  • I'm okay with homeschooling, but I forgot everything I ever learned in school, so I could never teach my own kids. (Yes, let's send yet another generation through the same system.)
  • I'm okay with homeschooling, as long as the parents are certified to teach. (Well, I was qualified to teach them to say please and thank you, to wipe their own butts, to eat their vegetables, to tie their shoes, to wait patiently in line, to be kind to everyone, to help those that need it, to ride a bike, to buckle in, to cook basic meals, to do their own laundry, to scrub a toilet, to get stains out of a carpet, to use a napkin and say "excuse me" if you belch, to care for animals, to read and write, to identify colors and shapes, to not take the last piece without asking, and a thousand other things. Why would my "certification" to teach suddenly expire on the child's fifth birthday? There's so much more to learn, and if I can't teach it, I'll find someone who can. I consider homeschooling a natural extension of parenting. The two constantly overlap, as they should.) 
   But the kicker, the one I heard most recently that really gave me a hearty laugh, was

  • I'm okay with homeschooling, as long as the parents are doing it for the right reasons. 
Oh, the "right reasons" argument! I'm not going into the "right" or "wrong" reasons to homeschool. I just want to explore this logic for a moment. What if we applied this statement to other areas of parenting and education? Imagine living in a society where people freely approached pregnant women and said to their faces, "I'm okay with women having babies, as long as they are having them for the right reasons."
"I'm okay with putting a toddler in a stroller, as long as it's for the right reasons."
What if strangers approached parents at the ice cream stand and said to them, "I'm okay with kids eating ice cream, as long as the parents are feeding it to them for the right reasons."
"I'm okay with fathers taking their children to the movies on a Saturday afternoon, as long as they are doing it for the right reasons."
"I'm okay with parents buying toys, as long as they are doing it for the right reasons."
"I'm okay with you owning a family dog, as long as you are doing it for the right reasons."
"I'm okay with you driving a minivan, as long as you are doing it for the right reasons."

Every single person who gives me the "right reasons" statement will from now on be told the following:
"Well, I'm okay with sending kids to school, as long as you're doing it for the right reasons."
Because, let's face it- parents send their kids to school, cheerfully, even gleefully, for reasons that have nothing to do with their education!

  • If you are sending your kid to school because paying that extra year of daycare is expensive....
  • If you are sending your kid to school because you enjoy the break and like to have your days free...
  • If you send your kids to school because it gives you time to focus on the baby... 
  • If you find yourself dreading the last day of school and wish it would run all year long... 
  • If you post on Facebook about how you will go crazy if they call one more snow day (it's January, and I see you!) ...
  • If you are sending your kid to school because you know if he was home alone all day he'd become a juvenile delinquent...
  • If you are sending your kid to school because they are rude and mouthy and some days you just can't stand them...
  • If you are sending your kids to school because they annoy you and you are tired of entertaining them...
  • If you are sending your kids to school because - finally!- you can get something done around here...
  • If you are sending your kids to school so that you have some hope of eating, showering, pooping, or watching Game of Thrones in peace...
Well, you might not be sending them to school for the right reasons.
And you know what? That's ok! Send them for the "wrong" reasons! It's your kid, your decision. Send them off, and go to work, or put your feet up, or go take a fitness class... It's fine. Just do not approach a homeschooling mom, or any mom, and tell them their choices are "okay" with you, as long as they are doing it for the right reasons.