Rent-a-Lent

Lent is rapidly approaching (Feb 18- Apr 2), and a lot of you are wondering how you are going to give up the things you know you should give up this year. The idea of "40 Days to a Better You" sounds amazing, but you just don't have the time, or if we are being honest, the willpower.
That's where I come in! I'm going to be doing Lent this year, and if I may say so myself, I'm an excellent Lenter. As long as I'm giving up my stuff, it's no trouble for me to give up yours, as well. By contracting with me for all your Lenten needs, you can have your King Cake and eat it, too.

Giving up Sugar- $50
Giving up Red Meat- $40
Giving up Wine- $40
Giving up Liquor- $60
Giving up Chocolate- $50
Giving up Coffee- $50
Giving up Smoking- $50
Giving up Cursing/ Swearing- $50
Giving up a Sedentary Lifestyle- $60
Giving up Yelling at Children- $50
Giving up Road Rage- $40
Giving up TV- $60
Giving up Comic Books- $40
Giving up Texting While Driving- $40

This price includes all 40 Days of Lent. Go about your busy days with work and the kids, go ahead and enjoy that slice of pie, flip off that guy who is driving the speed limit in the passing lane, order that bacon cheeseburger, knowing your Lent obligations are covered.  I will fully and completely abstain from the food/ activity/ non-activity of your choice every day of Lent so you can arrive at Easter a cleaner, healthier, more enlightened you!

This offer ends midnight Feb 16th. Don't risk being stuck ordering fish at the Steak House. Join now!