Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Where In The World Is Carmen

San Diego

Disclaimer: I don't recall all the names of these places. Think of it as an album of "Ooooh, pretty!" rather than an educational tour of San Diego.

Flying over the World's Biggest Catbox (WBC).

Geometrical farms planted in the WBC.

Huichol and Tepehuano "yarn painting", pictures made with colored thread.

After a short nap in our roomy Jetta, we walked around The Cove.

"Please step back from the seals!" the Seal Lady pleads into her megaphone.
"You have no authority here!" shrieks a local woman.
"How rude!" I thought to myself. But then I realized that if I lived here, and could not be the Seal Lady, I would probably heckle the Seal Lady, just for something to do.


Armed with only my sunglasses case, we walked to the Pier. Along the way, a seagull poo'ed on my shoulder and my boob! Since I'd left my purse in the car, I had no tissues. I had wipees in the van, but that was in WV. Without even looking, I knew there was one piece of paper in my sunglasses case, but I refused to use it. I needed to scrape the poo off. Frantically, I looked around for something, anything I might use. There were no leaves, no rocks, no seashells in sight. I could feel the poo soaking into my shirt and touching my skin. In a moment of desperation, I opened my sunglasses case and removed my HP7 movie ticket and used it to scrape seagull poo off my shirt. I could hear Dumbledore rolling in his grave.

Looking back to shore, mourning the loss of my ticket.

Obviously, the beauty of the sunset was sullied by my poo experience.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Falling Water and Baby Dates


3/4 of the kids I took with me enjoy posing next to rocks.

Tailgating in the parking lot




I couldn't decide between these two, so I'm posting both.






"I fart in your general direction!"



Ohiopyle Park





















Later that evening, I went out with Stephanie, Amy, and a guy we're all crazy about- Aden.
My date for the evening... What a chick magnet!

Paparazzi

Baby-wearing is the new LBD.

"I want to try the sling!"


Trying it on for size.

"Grandma" looks like a sweet gig. But I'm willing to wait.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Your Mother Has Superfluous Adipose Tissue

My kids sit at the kitchen table and tell "yo momma" jokes, even though they have the same mother, and I'm sitting right there! They comb insulting websites for new ones, and always manage to crack me up:

yo momma so fat she rolled off both sides of the bed

yo momma so dumb she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order

yo momma so fat every time she talks to herself it's a long distance call

yo momma so fat she downloaded cheats for the wii fit

yo momma so fat she left the house in high heels and came back in flip flops

yo momma soooooo fat, she puts mayo on her Tylenol

yo momma so fat the horse on her polo shirt is real

yo momma so fat when she steps on the scale it says "to be continued"

yo momma so fat she sells shade in the summer

yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side

yo momma so fat when she ran away they used all four sides of the milk carton

yo momma so ugly she went in a haunted house and came out with an application

yo momma so dumb when she was filling out her application it said "Emergency Contact" and she put 911