Inertia

Hey. You know that moment when you know you should work out... And then you don't. And 5 seconds later you know you *won't*?
You've had that, right?
Ok, so what do you say to yourself in those 5 seconds to make it a yes?
I am really struggling with a lot of things right now (exercise being an important one) and I just stay in my fat little cozy comfort zone.
What am I waiting for? What am I scared of? Looking good? Being healthy?
Well... Not being able to breathe is a big one. Being too hot or too cold, too. Getting a headache. Peeing my pants....
All of these are fixable though.
I need to go to the grocery store. I don't like it but I need my bp medication. And I'm looking forward to buying mushrooms.
I've also been putting off going to Sam's club for a long time. Last time I went was July. I'm slowly running out of everything. One thing is that ginormous container they sell of parmesan cheese. I love parmesan cheese. Yes, I am aware they sell parmesan cheese at the regular grocery store but if I buy it there, I may never get to Sam's to get the rest of the stuff I need.

I have thought about it. I have realized the problems, and what I particularly dread. I imagine myself getting through those moments successfully. Over and over. I try to pump myself up. But then I decide I can live without parmesan cheese. And I don't go.
I say "Wouldn't it be nice to have parmesan cheese?". But it's not enough to make me go.

I also need to have my daughter's junk car pulled out of here.
But I don't call.
I have a list of 20 reasons why.
I almost typed "I'm tired of being paralyzed", but it's not true. I'm not tired of it. Or I would do something about it.

It's not laziness. Laziness doesn't come with a hammering heart and sweaty hands, and bowels that liquify at the thought of making a phone call to a towing company.
...

I just called. They can tow it today sometime.

So. Talking about it helped.

Now the gym.

...Or not.

One thing at a time.