Thursday, April 24, 2014

Being in an Audience for Dummies

After watching the PopShop videos from tonight, it's obvious I need to teach a class. 
To the audience. 

Lesson 1. Yes, it's a restaurant. People are ordering and serving food. Unless you are ordering or serving food, sit down. I'm not talking about the "standing room only, can't find a seat" folks. I mean the social butterflies who flit around the room, in front of every camera possible. 

Lesson 2. Just because it's not YOUR kid playing a song right now, doesn't mean you should talk loudly, over the music, next to the parent who is recording their child. Honestly, the band was playing Alien Ant Farm's "Smooth Criminal" and the vocalist cannot even be heard over the chatter.

Lesson 3. Sit. The. Fuck. Down. Ok, so you come back to your table and see a person near you is making a video of a band. Do not turn to see who they happen to be filming and then *stand there* between the band and the videographer and watch the rest of the song! Sit down, take a knee, sit on your friend's lap, I don't care- Just, MOVE.

Lesson 4. If you want to know about the food that the restaurant serves, do not approach a random audience member that is obviously filming the band currently playing and ask them "Do you know if the peppers are hot?". Seriously, the dude filming was dressed like an undertaker; he's not the one cooking your food. 
(Raw face is just gross)

You know who you are. I have you on video, and I'm not afraid to post it on facebook and tag you. 

Friday, April 4, 2014

Goodwill Hurting

Goodwill was a madhouse today- super crowded, and full of people who are crazy (sanity-challenged?). People fighting over dollar store knick knacks... People fighting over beat-up sneakers... People debating the pros and cons of buying a used sippy cup for a friend's baby that was born yesterday
(Trust me, any woman who had a baby yesterday will not be thrilled when you race over to show her the used sippy cup you bought for her kid at Goodwill.) 
There were twelve people in line ahead of me, so I had a lot of time to enjoy the crazy. 
The best one was a woman who ran into her old coworker and loudly related the tale of her recent emergency room visit for a migraine. She went in, you see, because she was throwing up so much that she couldn't take her pain-relieving medicine at home, so at the emergency room they gave her pain relief in the form of a suppository. She couldn't understand how the medicine would help her migraine from "all the way down there". She said when she takes a pill for her migraine, that makes sense, because she is putting the pill in her head... But a suppository would only be good for a pain in her butt.