Friday, June 5, 2020

Hey Ron! It's a Pandemic!

Not only are you missing the Pandemic of 2020, and the BLM protests against Police Brutality, but your son had to finish out the school year online, with distance learning, and we received his report card in the mail today. He got all A's!
In addition to attending the protests, 4/5 of your kids are back at work, now. Masks are abundant and everyone is being careful. I enforce a strict "10 minutes *minimum* a day of sunshine", to keep their Vitamin D levels up. They are taking zinc and iodine and Vitamin C. You know I'm staying up late into the night, reading all about this virus, and learning from autopsy reports, and making grand announcements that everyone is terrified to disobey. I've supplied them with supplements and inhalers and nebulizers and o2 monitors.
They are adults, and making smart choices. You'd be so proud. I wish you were here to help our eldest pick out a house. That was always going to be your job, remember? Walking through each house, channeling every cast member from This Old House, talking about "good bones", or spotting termite damage from 50 yards, and proclaiming in Tom Silva's voice, "All this has to come out!".
The best I can do is pass on all I learned through Saturday Morning Osmosis.
We are buying a new mower soon. If you could see the state of the yard, you'd come back from the dead just to fire up a Gravely and "knock down the high spots".

I hope at least one kid got your lawn mowing work ethic, haha.