Hey, Ron! - A New Separate Blog within a Blog

On April 25, 2016 Ron Staubly unexpectedly passed away. He left behind 5 kids, a set of parents that loved him more than anything, a wife and an ex-wife. He left behind friends and co-workers. He left with so much of his story untold and unwritten. We are nothing but our memories, in the end. This blog-within-a-blog will try to record these memories as they come to me. They will also help fill in what he's missing. Due to the nature of the human mind, these will not be in order, chronological or otherwise.

April 25, 2016
Harrison sobbing in the car, "I wanted him to come to my concert. I'm playing a Led Zeppelin song and I didn't even tell him because he loves Led Zeppelin and I wanted it to be a surprise."

April 27, 2016
I bought clothes for Harrison, for the funeral. We went to Target and he tried them on and liked what he saw in the mirror. Then he asked if he needed a tie. I said, "Valgardr has ties; you can borrow one from him."
He was quiet for a moment and tears started falling down his cheeks and he said, "I don't know know how to tie a tie." His breath caught and he continued, "I don't know how to do a lot of things."

In the car on the ride home, Harrison looked out the window and said, "He was going to teach me to drive this summer. I know other people can teach me, but it's sad knowing he never will. He'd probably always looked forward to that, when I was little and growing up."

I once asked Ron (when he was about 30) what he saw his life like at 50.
"Pfff! I won't make 50!"
"Why the hell not?!"
"I don't know. I just always felt like that. You know?"
"No! I'm going to be 50! I'm going to be a hundred and two! Why can't you see past 50?"
"I don't know."

He died when he was 49.

I never stopped loving him. I never even tried to stop loving him. I just accepted that he was happier away from me/ us all the time. Over the past couple years during the divorce, I'd think of an inside joke, or remember something funny that happened, and I'd text him and say, "Remember the time we...?" and he would always text back, "Please keep all of our correspondence strictly about the children."
I thought, in time, he'd come around and we'd be able to chat about the old days again. So much of our lives are tangled in each other stories. Now that can never happen, and I carry these stories alone.
Kristy is his widow. There is no name for me, the Not-Widow. There is no place for me to grieve.

Crossing the Threshold for Passion

In a viral video Bryce Dudal spotted a baby grand piano in the living room of a home to which he was delivering pizza. He asked "Is that a baby grand piano? Can I play it?"
The resulting home video made him famous.
Bryce Dudal is also a baseball player, and is going to college on a baseball scholarship. I'm sure if he'd delivered a pizza to the same home and instead of a baby grand piano, Hall of Fame Pitcher Randy Johnson was sitting in the living room, he would have said, "Is that Randy Johnson? Can I meet him?"
Piano and baseball are his passions.
When delivering pizza, one gets a peek into the personal lives and homes of all kinds of folks. Usually, no matter what's on the other side of that door, one is content to smile politely, collect a tip, and be on their way. Every now and then, however, something is on the other side of that door that would make you cross the threshold and enter a private home to get a closer look.
I posed that question to my kids; What would make you cross the threshold?
For most folks, even if you enjoyed playing the piano, odds are if you spotted one in a house, you'd likely think "Cool piano" and be on your way. You wouldn't ask to enter their home and touch their personal property. Bryce Dudal had a passion for playing, a passion for performing, and he crossed that threshold for the opportunity.
A baby grand piano would barely register with me. Same with a baseball player. What would get me across that threshold? I'm not sure. A laboring woman. An American Mastiff puppy. I want to think about it more.

So today I want you to ask yourself, "What's on the other side of that door?"
What are you passionate about, that you'd swallow pride, gather courage and ask, "Hey, can I come in and see that?"

Your Kid Can't Play with My Kid Unless They've Had These Vaccinations

This is taken from a little (maybe a lot) rambly discussion I had with someone on facebook this morning.
They had posted something from a "real scientist" about how the anti-vaccine movement was "killing kids", and by not vaccinating, they are "just begging for once-deadly diseases in the US to make a big comeback". Vaccines are safe, effective, and readily available, so why even take the risk of getting the disease?

When people challenge my vaccine stance, using their own logic, I ask them about smallpox, rabies, and TB. There's an anti-vaccine movement in the US, for you.
"If everyone stops getting vaccines, we run the risk of once-deadly diseases returning" they tell us.
Ok, if vaccines are so safe and effective, why would we *ever* stop getting these (or any) vaccines?
TB is the most deadly infection in the world.
So why aren't we giving those shots to kids today? There's no way we have herd immunity to it, and TB is highly contagious.
Because TB no longer exist in the US? Well, wouldn't international travel risk it being brought in, the way Disney measles and Amish measles were? We should all still safeguard against the most deadly infection in the world, right?
Besides-
A total of 9,582 TB cases were reported in the United States in 2013.
There were 536 US deaths from TB in 2011, the most recent year for which these data are available.
Compare that to the average of 100 cases of measles in the US, with zero deaths.
Both diseases are highly contagious. Why are you so afraid of measles, but not of TB?
I repeat, TB is the most deadly infection in the world. 9 million cases a year, 1.5 million deaths, yet the entire US is an anti-vaccine movement against TB.
The US does not routinely vaccinate, and has never routinely vaccinated, against TB.

The US stopped vaccination against smallpox. Why? Even if it is eliminated from the planet (which it is not), why stop vaccination? Aren't we afraid that by not vaccinating against these diseases we risk losing our herd immunity if it ever comes back? I want my herd immunity!

Rabies. Diagnosis of rabies is almost always a death sentence. It can be easily contracted from the playful nip of an infected puppy, the fearful bite of a stray kitten, the painless bite from a bat that enters through a breezy open window... By the time symptoms present themselves, it's too late to help you.
Vaccines are so safe and effective, why don't we routinely vaccinate against rabies? If your child is not vaccinated against rabies and shares a sippy cup with my child, my child could get sick. Deathly sick. Why risk it?
Why risk almost certain death, when a safe, effective vaccine exists and is readily available? Because your children are never going to be exposed to dogs or cats, sippy cups, or sleep with the windows open, or go camping?

The US has been anti-vaccine in three very deadly, highly contagious diseases, yet we are not walking around constantly fearful of these diseases, and we are not dropping over dead from these diseases. Why not? Because the propaganda has not told us to be fearful of these diseases, and to get vaccinated against them for the Greater Good and Herd Immunity.