Lords of Dogtown

San Diego- Where Citizens Are Legally Required to Own a Dog

When you move to San Diego, you are encouraged to bring your own dog. If you do not have a dog, one is provided to you at the airport. In Hawaii, they put a lei around your neck; in San Diego, you get a dog. You do not get a choice of breed; they will choose this for you. Even if you are homeless, you will be expected to have a dog. In the event you are a homeless dog owner, passersby will be more likely to feed your dog than to feed you.

Dogs in San Diego do not poo. This is true! There are dogs everywhere, and I walked all over San Diego for a week and saw only one piece of dog poo on the sidewalk. Dogs just do not poo in San Diego. Ever.

Signs on the fronts of stores and office buildings read, "No pets permitted with the exception of service animals". I've come to the conclusion that either dogs are not considered pets, or... everyone in San Diego has a service dog? Because there are dogs in gift shops, department stores, ice cream shops, museums, grocery stores, on the trains, in restaurants... they are like Visa: Everywhere you want to be.

All businesses have bowls of purified drinking water at their entrances, for thirsty shopping dogs. Shopping all day takes a lot out of a dog, you know. You can tell a lot about a town by what's on every corner. In San Diego, there are Dog Washes, Starbucks, and Liquor stores on every corner. (In the more uppity areas, the Liquor stores are called "Wine and Gift Shoppes"; same thing, but they offer wine tasting on the weekends.)

We visited the beach, to put our toes in warm sand (and icy water!), and saw the signs alerting everyone that dogs were absolutely forbidden on the beach...

But dogs can't read...

and their owners don't care.

Next time I come, maybe I'll get my dream dog: an American Mastiff puppy.