A Pox Upon Thee

When my first child was born, I readily signed every consent form for any vaccinations that the nurses pushed at me. After all, these were deadly diseases, and I didn't want my precious little baby to get any of them. With names such as Pertussis, Diphtheria, and Rubella, I was sure each one was the Black Death, and I wasn't going to risk it.

One woman in my 'mom' group told us about someone refusing vaccinations for their child. All the other mothers were aghast.

"I don't let my dog miss a shot" I'd said self-righteously, "Why on earth would I not vaccinate my child?"

Three years later, I was pregnant again, and my midwife had the routine bloodwork done. Some of it came back with information that concerned me. For instance, I knew I was immune to chickenpox, because I'd had it as a kid. And I was immune to the mumps, even though I'd never received the shot, because my brother had contracted mumps when he was little, and my mother had put him in bed with me. I do not recall getting the mumps, myself, but when I was tested and clearly immune, the obvious answer was that I'd contracted at least a mild case.

But what I found disturbing was that I was not immune to Rubella. Rubella is German Measles, that nasty disease that causes stillbirths, if you're lucky. Some babies are born alive, but horribly damaged if their mothers contracted Rubella during the pregnancy.

My mother had gotten me that vaccination, because who wants to risk a damaged grandbaby? And during my first pregnancy, I was immune, but before the second baby, it had worn off.

"Well", I stammered to my midwife, "What's the good of that, if it wears off right in the middle of child-bearing age?!"

"That's why a lot of mothers are waiting until puberty to get their daughters that shot, so it will carry them through the childbearing years."

"Wait? Until puberty? But what if the kids actually get the disease before they can get the shot?"

"Pshhh! It's actually a pretty mild disease in kids. They call it the 3-Day Measles, you know."

That made a lot of sense! Let them get the mild disease as kids, and the protection of lifelong immunity that went with it. And if by puberty they hadn't gotten it, then offer them the vaccine to protect them through the childbearing years.

That made way more sense than giving it to all kids at age 18 months, and having it wear off at age 25, possibly the worst possible time.

In the mid-90's, the chickenpox vaccine became available. I laughed out loud. Why on earth would they spend the money to develop such a thing? Chickenpox was no big killer of children. It was a rite of passage. Heck, they even had dolls that "got" chickenpox, and you "cured" them by wiping cool cloths on their skin.

Then I began spotting ads in parenting magazines that featured crying teddy bears and rubber ducks, stating, "Sadly, 100 people each year die from chickenpox.".

(The fine print at the bottom of the ad states that this was out of 3.8 million cases of chickenpox in the US each year.)

I thought, "Oh, great. In thirty years, everyone will be talking about how dangerous chickenpox was, and how scared we all were."

Well, it has already happened. People are terrified, instead of excited, when the chickenpox party announcements go out. They pull up pics on the internet of kids covered in blisters and wring their hands, "What if...? I can't take that chance."

(Funny, I can also pull up pics of people dying in car wrecks, yet we still put our kids in motor vehicles every day of their lives.)

Nearly everyone knows someone who got chickenpox as an adult and had a horrible time of it. That's why we worked so hard to get the kids exposed when they were young. My oldest kid needed three exposures before she finally contracted it.

After seeing what happened with my Rubella vaccination, I was worried this could happen to all the kids getting the chickenpox vaccination, that instead of making them immune, it merely postpones their susceptibility, into a more dangerous age.

Many experts believe we get regular, natural 'boosters' after we have chickenpox, and are around other kids with chickenpox, within our families, at church, scout meetings, sleepovers. By being around other kids, and taking care of kids with chickenpox, our bodies get exposure to the virus and say, "Yeah, I remember that!" and we stay immune. These same experts also believe that regular exposure to chickenpox might help keep shingles at bay, in the older populations.

With schools now requiring the chickenpox vaccine, wild chickenpox is hard to find. Parents who want their kids exposed, and to receive lifelong immunity, are searching for any kids in their community to expose them to.

The once-common (though completely disgusting) "Chickenpox Parties", with the sharing of sippy cups, gum, and lollipops are an endangered species.

I read about a mom who so desperately wanted her kids to get chickenpox that when her sister's kids got them in a distant state, they managed to mail the chickenpox to her. (The feat involved ooze-soaked gauze pads sealed in ziploc bags, and overnighted.) I don't want to know how many bio-hazard laws they broke pulling it off, but it worked, and all are now immune.

My kids have all had chickenpox, and I'm glad I don't have to worry about that part of their health. If they hadn't, though, I'd most definitely consider using Chickenpox Express to have the kids exposed.

My next challenge is Mumps. Before you warn me that Mumps causes sterility, I need to mention that my husband had a fine case of Mumps as a kid, and the pics of his swollen, chipmunk face are hysterical.

He is also the proud father of five kids.

If anyone knows of any Mumps by Mail, please contact me immediately.