Do NOT Read This Post if You Do Not Like Buttsex!

Many people are offended by the word Buttsex, and this post will say it a lot, so I suggest skipping this one (or closing it out if you are at work) if you will only sit there with a look of horror and disgust on your face while reading it.

It all began as I was getting into the shower and my friend Stephanie (whom you may remember for her brief - haha- modeling career showing off her HAUGHTY shorts) texted me something like,

"I told Mike his cologne smelled so good I wanted to have buttsex with him."

I told her she should go into advertising,

"You'll smell so good, she'll want to have buttsex with you!"

That rapidly deteriorated into us just inserting "buttsex" into all existing slogans:

"Got Buttsex?" (milk)

"Buttsex- it's what's for dinner." (beef)

"When you say Buttsex, you've said it all." (Budweiser)

"I can't believe it's not Buttsex!" (margarine)

"Buttsex- The best a man can get!" (Gillette)

"This is not your father's Buttsex." (Oldsmobile)

"It must be love. Buttsex." (Honda)

"Buttsex. First man, then machine." (Honda)

"Driven by passion. Buttsex." (FIAT)

"Buttsex. When you get it, you get it." (Subaru)

"Buttsex. Driven by what's inside." (Subaru)

"Buttsex. Beauty is not enough." (Alfa Romeo)

"Buttsex. Feel the difference." (Ford)

"Everyone dreams of Buttsex." (Audi)

"Oh, what a feeling! Buttsex!" (Toyota)

"I love what you do for me Buttsex." (Toyota)

"Buttsex- the power to surprise." (Kia)

"Buttsex. There is no substitute." (Porsche)

"Buttsex. Break through." (Cadillac)

"Buttsex. Grab life by the horns." (Dodge) [Oh my!]

"Buttsex. It's all good." (Buick)

"Buttsex. New doors opened." (Mercury)

"Buttsex. Like always. Like never before." (Saturn)

"Buttsex relieves gas pains." (Volkswagon)

"Think small, Buttsex" (Volkswagon)

"Grace... space... pace... Buttsex" (Jaguar)

"I have a headache this big- and it's got Buttsex written all over it." (Excedrine)

"Sometimes you feel like Buttsex, sometimes you don't." (Almond Joy, Mounds)

"Sometimes you need a little Buttsex, sometimes you need a lot" (Finesse Shampoo)

"Buttsex keeps going, and going, and going... " (Energizer batteries)

"The best tires in the world have Buttsex written all over them." (Goodyear)

"Buttsex- it does a body good." (milk)

"Buttsex is good for you" (Guinness)

"There's a smile in every Buttsex" (Hershey Bar)

"Buttsex- it beats as it sweeps, as it cleans." (Hoover Vacuum Cleaners)

"Buttsex- the best seat in the house" (Jockey Underwear)

"Buttsex inside." (Intel)

"Buttsex- Just do it." (Nike)

"The joy of Buttsex" (Pepsi)

"I liked Buttsex so much I bought the company!" (Remington)

"You can't resist the Buttsex." (Twister)

"Buttsex- Don't leave home without it!" (American Express)

"Buttsex- Good to the last drop." (Maxwell House)

"Does she, or doesn't she?" (Clairol)

"Buttsex- When it absolutely positively has to be there." (Fed Ex)

"I think, therefore IBM" (IBM) which was even funnier than "I think, therefore Buttsex"

"Buttsex- Think different" (Apple Macintosh)

"Buttsex- the quicker picker upper!" (Bounty)

"Buttsex- Capitalist Tool" (Forbes)

"I (heart) Buttsex" (NY)

"Buttsex is for lovers" (VA)

"Buttsex- Like. No. Other" (Sony)

"Buttsex- connecting people" (Nokia)

"For everything else, there's Buttsex" (Mastercard)

"Jump in- Buttsex" (Microsoft)

"Play beyond" (Sony)

"Buttsex- I bet you can't eat just one!" (potato chips)

"Buttsex - we'll get you there" (Delta)

Actually, most of Delta's slogans are awesome for this:

Speed, Comfort and Safety (1929)

Delta Air Lines—The Trans-Southern Route (1935)

Speed, Comfort and Convenience (1930s)

The Airline of the South (1940)

None Faster—None Finer—To and Through the South (1948)

Hospitality and Service from the Heart (late 1950s)

DELTA the airline with the BIG JETS (1959)

Delta Is Ready When You Are (1968-Dec 1984)

Airlines Are the Same; Only People Make the Difference (1980)

Delta Gets You There (1984-1987)

Ready When You Are (1992)

You'll Love the Way We Fly (1994)

On Top of the World (1997)

"Buttsex, Buttsex, Buttsex, Buttsex,

Buttsex, Buttsex, Buttsex, Buttsex,

Buttsex, Buttsex, Buttsex, Buttsex,

Buttsex, Buttsex, Buttsex, Buttsex!" (Meow Mix cat food)

"Buttsex- a little dab'll do ya" (Brylcream)

"Buttsex is the place for the helpful hardware man" (Ace)

"Yo quiero culo sexo " (Taco Bell)

"Buttsex. What you crave." (White Castle)

"Have it your way- Buttsex" (Burger King)

"You're the boss. Buttsex." (Burger King)

"A day without Buttsex is like a day without sunshine" (Florida Citrus)

"Buttsex- makes hamburgers taste like steakburgers!" (A-1 Steaksauce)

"Buttsex. Because that's the kind of mom you are." (Rice Krispies)

"What would you do for Buttsex?" (Klondike Bar)

"Buttsex- it fills you up right!" (Campbell's soup)

"So rich, so moist, so very Buttsex." (Duncan Hines)

"Buttsex- all you add is love" (Ralston Purina)

"Like a good neighbor, Buttsex is there." (State Farm)

"You're in good hands with Buttsex" (Allstate)

"Could switching to Buttsex really save you 15% or more on car insurance?" (Geico)

"Buttsex. Gets you back where you belong." (Farmers insurance)

"Buttsex. Ask about it at work" (Aflac insurance)

"Buttsex- enriching the lives of the people we touch" (Guardian insurance)

"Have you Buttsex today?" (Met Life)

"Buttsex- take away the risk, and you can do anything." (Ace group insurance)

"Aren't you glad you use Buttsex? Don't you wish everybody did?" (Dial soap)

"No more tears Buttsex" (Johnson's Baby Shampoo)

"Double your pleasure, double your fun with Buttsex." (Doublemint gum)

"Nobody doesn't like Buttsex" (Sara Lee)

"Nothing comes between me and my Buttsex" (Calvin Klein Jeans)

"Promise her anything, but give her Buttsex" (Arpege)

"Our repairmen are the loneliest guys in town" (Maytag)

"The best part of waking up is Buttsex in your cup" (Folgers)

"Buttsex- the other white meat" (Pork)

"Buttsex- we try harder" (Avis car rental)

"Fill it to the rim, with Buttsex" (Brim)

"Buttsex- The San Franciso treat!" (Rice-a-Roni)