Mother's Day Madness

Ron's mother invited us to a luncheon for Mother's Day. With everything else I have had going on, it was decided that Ron could take the children to the luncheon, and I could spend the time visiting my mother in the hospital, and doing laundry, and tidying the house, you know, fun things a woman does when she has the day off for Mother's Day.
I have a ginormous key ring, and everyone tells me that it will ruin my ignition. I always ignored them, but last week I decided to stop being a heartless bitch about my ignition, and took the van keys off of it and left the rest in the center console. Ron was pleased I finally listened to him, and I was getting the hang of a set of keys small enough to lose.
So this morning when Ron and the kids left, I realized that all the rest of my keys were in the van! I had no way of visiting my mother.
I called Ron, and his cell phone was off. (Grrrrr!!!)
So I called Sadie and told her to tell her dad to turn around.
He said I could just drive my mother's car, since it was here at the house. The problem with that is Sadie had those keys!
He was very unhappy about having to come back (he was already late), but he did. I grabbed my ginormous key ring and popped all my keys back onto it.
Screw the ignition.
Ron knows how to replace that, and anyway I don't think I'll hear another word about it.

So, I visited my mother and gave her a Mother's Day card. (Her gift will be installed at her house later on.)
While I was there, she was able to walk an entire lap around the floor, with her nurse racing ahead of her, tugging on the oxygen tube. Seriously. I'd never seen anyone pulled around by an oxygen tube, before.
After her walk, my mother was exhausted and needed a nap.
She was an amazing source of entertainment for my brother and me.
She dozed off and on, clutching that teddy bear, and would reach out like she was trying to grasp an invisible object.

She later said it was flowers, but she couldn't reach them.

At one point, she woke up and began adjusting her bed by pushing the button, and then shouted, "That's enough!" when she was sat up.

She kept looking around and saying things like, "Did I miss the day?", "I have a banana peel caught in my throat." and "Is that the real time?"

I finally pulled up the youtube video David After the Dentist, so she could see herself the way we saw her.
She fell asleep midway through.
But my brother enjoyed it.

"Is this real life?"

After I'd had all the fun I could stand, I headed back home, ate two avocados, and started on the laundry.

For Mother's Day, I received a plant, and a dvd. And the woman whose voice is the voice in my head, for better or for worse, is alive and recovering well.
For Mother's Day, I have my mom.