"About To Say"

Aka "fixin' to say", and "before you cut me off, I was trying to say".

I know a person who is so negative they have forgotten how to make a positive remark.
Well, they haven't forgotten; but they do have to stop and concentrate pretty hard to come up with one in regular conversation.

It's a clever form of back-pedaling. The person makes negative remarks. I point out something positive that they have overlooked, and they respond with, "I was about to say that."

However, I've experimented a little during conversations, and actually waited for them to say the positive thing.

And waited.

And waited.

(imagine the sound of crickets, here)

And waited.

When all is said and done, I'll point out something positive, and sure enough, the person comes right back with, "I was about to say that!"

No, they weren't.

The magic of "about to say" is that it shifts the focus of negativity from the negative person over to me. See, if only I'd not been so greedy or impatient, I would have eventually heard the positive remark/ praise/ compliment I was hoping for.

It's hard being around a person like that.
I end up feeling small and beat-down. I find myself indulging in self-pity after being around a person like that for any serious length of time.
I am a see-what's-wrong-and-move-forward-to-fix-it kind of person.
Assigning blame keeps one from moving forward, because once blame is assigned, one no longer sees the problem as theirs to fix.
This is a handy strategy in Fantasy Land, and would probably get a person out of a lot of work.
But in the real world, bathrooms get dirty, kitchen floors get sticky, kids misbehave, appliances break, and buttons fall off shirts just because.

Deal with it!

When this person talks to me, I count the negative comments and, if any, the positive ones. I also credit myself ten points each time they cover their ass with "about to say".