A Blunt Analysis: Brew-Haha!! 2009

In what is perhaps Morgantown's first annual gov't-sanctioned public intoxication event, Brew Haha 2009 featured lots of beer, and stand-up comedians. Apparently they did not hold auditions for the stand-up slots.
Listen, I know stand-up is an art, and dealing with hecklers is tough, which is why you don't see me up there. But if you want my Blunt Analysis, most of the comics rattled on for their 15 minutes of quasi-fame, and at the end, we weren't sure where the jokes were, or what was supposed to be funny.

The "Neck Noise Guy"... This was the entire act:

We obviously were not drunk enough to enjoy this properly.

This guy is Tim Dimond. His stuff was mostly about marijuana. He brought up a good point that peanuts kill about 100 people in this country each year, yet they are legal. And no one dies from marijuana, and yet it remains illegal.

This guy was fat. His act was mostly about developing ED while masturbating.

This guy was the nerdiest comic all day. He was so nerdy, that when he got off the stage it looked to me like he was crying. Many of his jokes were based on WoW, and most of the audience didn't get them.

This girl is a Communications major and did not tell one funny joke or story.

"There's no way they can put any of this on the news!" It's true; they muted it.

This guy talked about the "smoke-proof corral" that smokers were forced to go stand inside.

This guy is also a banjo player. He told lots of good banjo jokes.

This guy was not funny, but he was entertaining. He went well past his time slot, and sang a song about being dirty and not bathing or using toilet paper, and how women love a "dirty man".